ザ・狩猟・The Hunt

じゃあ、ティンダーをもうやめた。しかし、どうやっていい女性を探せばいいのだろう？

この話を続ける前に、自白することがある。二つの投稿の前にこの話を書くつもりだったけど、背景記事と説明は長くなって一つの投稿で書けないようになった。

いい女性を狩る問題はいろいろある。まずは見つけることだ。答えないといけない質問は「どこで探せばいいのか？」ってことだ。スナックやクラブはダメだ。そんなところとそんなところに行く人が嫌い。高校生の男性のようにモールにナンパしたほうがいいのか？いや、３０歳の男性はそんなことができるわけないだろう。それ以外、モールが嫌い。ヨドバシカメラに行くのは好きだけど、女性を探すところではないな。

この話題を考えていた間、「Your Mom’s House」という夫婦のコメディアンのポッドキャストを聴いた。夫のお父さんが面白い話をすることが多い（だいたいトイレの話だけど）ので、彼に電話することが多い。でも、あるポッドキャストでお父さんは女性を探す方法の話をした。僕はよく注目した。笑　今からその話を書く。

（５８分のところから始まる）

お父さんは２０歳の頃、時々ウエートレスをナンパしてみた。息子さんは「どんな口説き文句を使った？」と聞いて、お父さんは「グラスの注ぎ方が良かったね」と言うことがあった。笑　それはあまり良いアドバイスじゃない。先に進む。

次、銀行窓口系の女性をナンパしたと言った。銀行窓口系をナンパするシステムがあったらしい。笑　なぜ銀行窓口系の女性を狙ったって？銀行窓口系の女性は若いし、可愛いし、大学卒業者だかららしい。

以下は彼の銀行窓口系の女性をナンパするシステムだ。

1. 可愛い子を見かける。
2. 彼女の窓でお金を預ける。少し雑談して、興味があるか確認してみる。
3. その来週、彼女が着ている洋服やイヤリングを褒めること。
4. さらに来週、また銀行にお金を預けに行く。
5. 彼女は彼の行動を推測できることは大事だ。毎週給料を稼いで、銀行に預けに行った。彼女はそれがわかったら、その情報に基づいて動ける。
6. 彼女は褒められた衣類を着ていたら、彼に「興味がある」と伝えている。
7. 預金伝票で「晩御飯をしませんか？」というメッセージを書いて彼女に渡す。

お父さんはその方法が１００％効果的だったと言った。大したもんじゃないか。それに、３つの銀行で口座があったって。笑

正直に言えば、僕もその方法を使えるかと考えた。ただし、今の日本では状況が昔のアメリカと違う。お父さんは若い頃、アメリカの中で大学卒業者がもっと珍しかったし。今の日本では全然珍しくない。その上、この頃、振込があるので、銀行に行く必要がない。僕のアパートのあたりに銀行支店が一つだけある。ここの状況はあまり良くないので、お父さんのシステムを使えないと思う。

でも、お父さんの話からわかる原理がある。

1. いい女性が定期的にいるところに定期的に行くこと。つまり、興味がある女性と交流できる状況に入る。彼女と自分の行動は予測可能になる。
2. 好みの女性が集まるところに行くこと。
3. 偵察をすること。女性をデートに誘う前に、互いに興味があることを確認すること。ということは、ゆっくり進まないと。
4. シグナルを送ること。彼女に興味があることを示して、彼女もシグナルを送り返せるように情報を渡すこと。
5. 彼女も興味があったら、動けってこと。もちろん、彼女から興味があるってシグナルを送ってもらったら、動くことが簡単になるね。

じゃあ、問題はどこに行けばいいだろう？選択がある。日本語教室に行ける。クラブに入れる。公園に行ける。他の教室に行ける。

クラブに入ったら、どんなクラブに入るだろう？ゲームや撮影やサイクリングに興味があるけど、ゲームのクラブは若い男の人ばっかりで、日本の撮影のクラブはおじさんばっかりらしい。サイクリングのクラブをよく知らないので、調べてみる。重要なポイントはクラブに入ったら、メンバーは僕と同じの趣味があるので、気が会う女性に会う確率が上がる。

日本語教室に入ったらいいかも。先生は一般人の女性より頭がいいし。僕のアパートのあたりに日本語教室があるけど、その中の先生の一人は僕のことが好きだけど、僕は彼女に興味がないから、その教室に行きたくない。笑　他の教室を探す。

僕のあたりに公園があるけど、田舎なので、そこに人が少ない。

他の教室に入ったらいいかも。最近、音楽を勉強するかなと思い始めた。数月前、ギターを探した。でも、音楽教室はマンツーマンのレッスンていうイメージがある。ギターのレッスンはダメかも。しかし、音楽が出来る女性に惹かれるので、ギターを勉強したら、いい女性に接する可能性があるだろう。ギターを勉強する利点はまだあるかも。

ああ、でもね、最近中学生に触発された。先週、中学生たちは体育大会の準備をしていた。踊りや太鼓を練習していた。そして、太鼓の音を聞こえたら、「太鼓を勉強したら？」と思ってきた。太鼓の演奏を行うためにグループが必要だし、練習してもグループが必要な気がするというのは太鼓を勉強する利点だ。太鼓をたたくことは体力が必要なので、健康にいい。上半身の強さを鍛えるね。笑　太鼓の教室を調べる。

最近、ヨガをよくしているので、ヨガの教室に入ったらいいかなと考えた。ヨガ教室の利点は運動ができたり、運動していて体の健康を保ている女性に接したりすることができることだ。でも、弱点は他のことと比べたら、ヨガにそんなに興味がなくて、ヨガをする女性はどんな女性なのかわからないことだ。でも、いい選択かも。
僕と同じ興味と価値観があったり、頭が良かったり、いい性格をしたりしている女性を探すのが大事だ。でも、僕の生活の中に、そういう女性が結構珍しい。まあ、僕のせいだけどな。探さなかったし。

とりあえず、狩猟を始める時間だ！

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Alright, so I’ve learned my lesson about Tinder. But what do I do to find a nice lady?

Before I go on, I want to make a confession. I actually planned to talk about this two entries ago, but the backstory and explanations of my reasoning ended up being too long to fit into one entry.

There are a few different challenges I face on this hunt for a lady. First, finding someone. The question I have to answer is: where do I look? Clubs and bars are out. I hate those places and the people that go to them. Should I go to the mall and talk to girls like some high school boy? Nah, I don’t think 30 year-olds can pull that off. Besides, I hate malls. I enjoy going to Yodobashi camera, but that’s not really the kind of place you go to meet women.

While this subject was on my mind, I listened to a podcast by two married comedians called Your Mom’s House. They often call the husband’s father because his father has funny stories to tell (although most of the time they are toilet stories). However, in one podcast, his father told him how he used to find ladies. I paid very close attention to this story, which I will now tell you. lol

(The story starts at around the 58 minute mark.)

In his younger years, the father would sometimes try to pick up waitresses. His son asked him, “What line would you use?”, and the father said he would say, “I liked the way you filled up my glass.” lol Okay, that’s not really great advice. Let’s move on.

Next, he says that he would pick up girls that worked as bank tellers. He had a system with bank tellers. lol Why did he target bank tellers? Because they are usually young, good looking, college-educated women.

So here is his process with the bank tellers.

1. Find a cutie.
2. Go make a deposit with her. Do some small talk, see if there is chemistry.
3. The next week, compliment her on something she is wearing (dress, earring, etc.).
4. The week after that, go back again, make another deposit.
5. The key here is that she can predict when she will see him again. If he got paid every week, then he would go to the bank every week to make a deposit. If she knows what day he’ll be there, then she can act on that information.
6. If she is wearing that same dress, earring, etc. that he complimented before, she is signaling an interest in him.
7. On the deposit slip, he would write a message like, “Do you want to go out for dinner?”

He says that the method he used was 100% effective. Pretty impressive. Also, he had accounts at three different banks! lol

I won’t lie, I’ve considered the possibility of using this same method myself. However, I think the situation in Japan now is much different from the situation in the US back when the father was young. Back then, being college-educated was much rarer in the US. In Japan, college educations are the norm. Also, these days, we have direct deposit, so I don’t even have a need to go to the bank. There is also only one bank with one branch close to where I live. The banking conditions for me aren’t really good for employing his system.

However, there are some principles I can take away from his story.

1. Go some place regularly where a nice lady goes regularly. In other words, put yourself into a situation where you interact with someone you’re interested in regularly. It makes you predictable, and it makes her predictable.
2. Go some place where your preferred kind of women go.
3. Do some reconnaissance. Before asking a lady out, find out if you are even remotely interested in each other. This means you need to take some time, work slowly.
4. Send signals. Demonstrate some interest in her, and give her some information she can use to send signals back to you.
5. If she is interested, make your move. Of course, it’s easy to make a move once she has shown an interest in you, too.

So then the question is, where do I go? There are a few choices I have. I could go to some sort of Japanese language class at a community center. I could join a club. I could go out to parks. I could go to some other kind of class.

If I do join a club, what kind of club would I join? Well, I’m interested in games, photography, and cycling, but game clubs are usually dominated by young men and photography clubs in Japan are usually dominated by old men. I don’t know much about cycling clubs, though, so I will do some research about them. The key is that other people in the club have the same interests as me, so there is a better chance there will be some compatibility between me and any women that are in the club.

Japanese language classes may be another good option. Teachers tend to be more intelligent and thoughtful compared to other women. I know of at least one Japanese language class close to where I live, but one of the women that teaches there is interested in me, but I am not interested in her at all, so I’d like to avoid that one. lol I’ll look for other classes.

There are several parks near me, but they are located in rural areas, so not too many people go to them.

Other kinds of classes are another interesting option I’ve considered. Recently, I’ve thought about learning to play music. A couple months back I was even looking at guitars online. But, usually learning music involves one-on-one lessons. At least, I think so. I’m not sure guitar lessons would be the right way to go. However, I find women who can play music attractive, and it’s possible that learning the guitar could put me into contact with women that play music, so there may be some merit to guitar lessons.

However, I was inspired recently by the junior high school students. Last week, they were preparing for a school event called Sports Day. Among other things, students dance, play taiko, do track and field sports, etc. When I heard some taiko drums playing one day, I thought, “What if I learn taiko?” The nice thing about taiko is that performances usually require a group of people, and I imagine lessons also involve groups of people. I could be wrong, though. I’ve always liked drums, and practicing playing taiko would require me to go out some place regularly, so I would be put into situations regularly to interact with other people. Playing taiko is much more physical than playing the guitar, so it would definitely be good for my upper body strength. lol I’ll be looking into taiko lessons.

I’ve been doing yoga recently, so I’ve considered taking yoga classes. The advantage to taking yoga classes is that I would be getting some exercise, and I would likely be put into contact with many other women who are also exercising and taking care of their bodies. The downside is that I’m not as interested in yoga as much as other things like taiko, and I’m not sure what kind of women take yoga classes. I think it’s an option, though.

The important thing is to find a woman who shares similar interests and values with me, is intelligent, and who has a good personality. Unfortunately, those kind of women have been fairly rare in my life, but that’s because I haven’t really tried searching for them before.

Anyway, it’s time to start the hunt!